So, you’re telling me that they’re inventing a touchscreen that can literally bend and not break but I can’t have a printer that can print me a pizza?

(Source: e-hizzle)

When a song’s lyrics are just so poetic that you get chills

Christmas list:

  1. Food
  2. Drink to wash food down
  3. The horn of a unicorn

(Source: e-hizzle)


07 Nov 13 at 12 pm
tags: photos  food  lol  funny 

Seeing food after a long day

I came, I came, I left.

 3
23 Aug 13 at 11 pm
tags: thoughts  lol 

I asked my mom if she’d approve of me marrying a white girl and she said, “Well, white always went well on rice.”

(Source: e-hizzle)

 10
15 Aug 13 at 10 pm

(Source: e-hizzle)

tags: lol  mark wahlberg 
 1
19 Jul 13 at 10 pm
tags: lol 

*Kicks fallen ice cube under refrigerator*

I am a criminal.

 3
10 Jul 13 at 12 am

This is exactly me.

(Source: e-hizzle)

tags: memoirs  photos  thoughts  lol  life  movie  quote  text  end  me 

09 Jul 13 at 2 am
tags: memoirs  thoughts  text  lol  why  me 

I’ll never forget the time I was eating with my friends at McDonald’s and I started overhearing the conversation going on at the booth next to me and it went something like, “and then I skullfucked her so hard, she squealed like a seagull.”

Mickie D’s is too real for me.

Spilled iced tea on the floor and got sad, but then I realized that I’ve won the same number of Leonardo DiCaprio and I felt happy again.

 4
07 Apr 13 at 2 pm
tags: thoughts  lol  tumblr  funny  shit  SUCK 

Imagine if your parents found your Tumblr page.

Bought my brother a new gaming laptop for his birthday and I’m stoked to give it to him before I head back to college. 

I can already hear what he’s going to say when he unwraps it..

"HOLY BALLS, OH MY GOD."

 4
28 Feb 13 at 8 pm

I should be doing my work, but I shoved chopsticks through my gauges instead. Procrastination nation.

tags: photos  me  gauges  asian  boy  hi  college  lol  funny 
I should be doing my work, but I shoved chopsticks through my gauges instead. Procrastination nation.

Super Bowl Halftime Show 2014: Resurrect Tupac and Biggie and have them do a joint performance with the Beatles. You have a year, NFL.